2-11-2023 (BEIJING) A groom in China recently faced an unusual challenge when he was blocked by 100 elderly villagers demanding money and gifts before allowing him to pick up his bride. The incident, which took place in a village in Jiangsu on October 20, has sparked debates about tradition, cultural practices, and potential extortion.
According to the tradition known as “lan men” or “blocking the door,” the groom’s entourage is expected to fulfill the requests of elderly villagers before being granted access to the bride. These requests can range from cigarettes to red packets containing money. If the villagers are not satisfied with the offerings, they continue to prevent the groom from seeing the bride, resulting in a delay in the wedding ceremony.
While the tradition is intended as a test of the groom’s determination to marry his beloved, many people view it as a form of extortion. A wedding planner from the village explained, “If there are many people there, the groom’s family just put one yuan (S$0.20) into each red packet. If there are not so many people, they will put 10 yuan in the red packet.” The planner further noted that it is the elderly individuals who experienced “lan men” on their own wedding day when they were young who are now trying to uphold the custom.
A video of the wedding went viral online, eliciting a range of responses. Some netizens criticized the practice, describing it as a “vicious custom” and “obvious robbery.” They argued that such customs could deter young people from getting married. However, there were also those who saw no issue with the tradition. One netizen commented, “It won’t cost much. A red packet containing one yuan is fine.” They emphasized that the main purpose of the tradition is to gather a large crowd and create a lively atmosphere. A lack of participants in the “lan men” event would imply a lack of harmony between the groom’s family and the local community, according to this viewpoint.
